sarcastic quotes on opportunists

82. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. Nothing brings a group of a…holes together faster than something that’s none of their business. This process facilitates creativity for both the giving and receiving ends of the verbal exchange. Let’s be honest. The romance covers?” – Cassandra Clare, 80. “Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.” – Murphy’s Laws, 20. 193. Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough. Yeah, I don’t have that. In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 162. Comedy helps us get through a lot of difficult and awkward situations—instead of being straightforward and blunt, being sarcastic also does the trick and gets the point across. I’ll be poor.”, 10. 123. People always say that life shouldn’t be boring. 97. If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me. You are about as useful as a white crayon. 120. I’m describing you. Inspiring and educating creative entrepreneurs from around the world. 85. Need money for college. Then my father got a job. ” – Murphy’s Laws 58. Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Here we share 38 funny sarcastic joke motivational quotes for you Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. 141. Most people have “Ah ha” moments. You decide to go for a run with a friend and accidentally trip on your shoelace and fall into a puddle. It’s like punching people in the face with words. 156. 76. 20. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted? Sarcasm: Because murder charges are expensive. 31 quotes have been tagged as sarcastic-quotes: Jess C Scott: ‘If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.’, Ashleigh Bri... Home My Books Sarcastic quotes about relationships . 135. “In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.” – Albert Einstein, 15. If you don’t like and still watch everything I do, b..tch you are a fan. “Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” – Robin Williams, 26. “Don’t mistake this fake smile and professional body language. For a circle. 186. 78. © 2021 Inspirationfeed. My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist. Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings | Sarcastic Comments. You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 3. “There are two types of people in the world 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm; Idiots; Your Sound Better With Your Mouth; Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion; My Alone Time is Sometimes For You Safety; It’s ok if you disagree with me. I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than f..ck. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. 113. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence. 138. 145. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”, 58. “Don’t worry about what people think. 47. 42. 83. “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. Sometimes I need expert advice. Grammar. « “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. So if I’m a b..ch to you, you need to ask yourself why. 210. Inspirational Quotes About Life. Need college for a job. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 45. You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again. Yet it remains the funniest!”, 96. Oh. 94. I’m not petty, I’m dead ass disrespectful and I will straight up disrespect you if you want to play that petty game. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”, 16. Sometimes, saying things sarcastically can be more effective than saying things literally. I’m not crazy! Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today? 164. 81. I’m bored. I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. It is hitting below the intellect.” –Oscar Wilde. 50. You always do me a favor, when you shut up! Then I met you. I’d punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn’t lose my job.”, 84. 93. “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – Robin Williams, 32. 57. 28. Copy. Well rack your brains no more! I’m not saying I hate you. Who was the mastermind behind this system? How do you get your food in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time? These sarcastic quotes will make you laugh. 116. “Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.” – Benjamin Disraeli, 42. Aubrey Plaza 27. Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings “What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.” “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.” “Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.” “Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. 200. 36. I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts. I didn’t tell you. Be the reason someone smiles today. Your feelings will be hurt. “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban, 9. 182. But being sarcastic can be a little harsh as well. I’m an odd combination of “really sweet” and “don’t mess with me.”. But overall, these brightened my night. 129. 225. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer, 54. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”, 101. You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed. 206. Sarcastic Quotes. I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk. Not everyone has good taste.”, 5. To stimulate your brain, below is our collection of meaningful, wise, and funny sarcastic quotes, sarcastic sayings, and sarcastic proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years. You’re unique just like everyone else. Your friend helps you get up just seconds before it starts to rain. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”, 73. Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end. They’re invisible. 48. I’m not being mean, I’m just sarcastic as hell and I like to joke around. Here are some sarcastic quotes which are good food for thought. Light travels faster than sound. 130. Listen, I’m a nice person. 84. August 2, 2017 October 3, 2019 everywishes Leave a Comment on 25 ONE Line Sarcastic Quotes & Sarcasm Sayings With Images Sarcastic Quotes Light travels faster than sound. Me: Obviously not enough. I don’t know where all this crap about me being a “difficult person” is coming from. 223. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 23. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”, 14. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. 170. “I love sarcasm. Funny Shit Haha Funny Funny Jokes Funny Sarcastic That's Hilarious Hilarious Quotes Fun Funny Funny Stuff Sarcastic Quotes About Friends. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter. 169. 51. Haha. Don’t judge a student by his percentage. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. He can see you better, hear you better, and eat you better. DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could. Babies are so lucky. 22. It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had, you would get an award for the shortest story ever.. 52. 139. People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I would hate to be wasteful. Murphy’s Laws are a universal set of sarcastic quotes about life, born out of collective wisdom! Things could get dangerous. “Whoever says nothing surprises them should try working at our office.”, 86. 2. “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”, 43. You’re still a b..ch. Nope. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing. - Steven Wright 2. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 61. 40. 115. There will also be times when you’ll find inspiration in the most sarcastic lines and have them saved on your phone. We give you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, quoted by some famous people, and some anonymous authors. I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways. 178. 183. 1. Some people use these type of language to give an impression that they do not give an importance to others while talking. Find your patience before I lose mine. A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” – Mark Twain, 52. I have to stop saying how stupid you can be. 17. I don’t care what people think of me. I’m a lady, but when I’m mad, I am an evil sadistic demon spawned b..ch from hell that will make you regret the day you were born. 103. Watch me pretend to care! 101. 31. 99. “The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.” – Murphy’s Laws, 40. Think I am sarcastic? Also read: 100 Kickass Feminist Slogans On The Advocacy Of Women’s Rights. Oh. Even some of the best life lessons we learn are from the most sarcastic quotes we read over the internet or from our dearest friends and family. 181. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. I wish more people were fluent in silence. Sometimes I wish I could get a refund on the time I have invested on people that weren’t worth it. 173. “Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”, 55. 199. 107. But in your case, go ahead. Required fields are marked *, Below is a list of research studies that are currently open for participation. Top 30 Most funniest Sarcasm quotes #best humor. 208. Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back. Or maybe Dr. House? Article by DesignBump. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. I don’t know how to accept compliments. Oh, you hate me? Sarcastic Quotes. You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. Your email address will not be published. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast. Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as … “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” – Murphy’s Laws, 22. If I promise to miss you, will you go away? 29. I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it. 111. “A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” – Fred Allen, 95. Some of these were so funny I forgot to laugh. There are weekly meetings at the corner of F..ck You St. and Kiss My Ass Blvd. 70. 14. The same way you came in. “All the good ones are taken.” – Murphy’s Laws, 36. “What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them. Some people are like Slinky’s. “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”, 8. Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered, “Who ties your shoelaces for you?”. Sesame Street smart. “ If anything can go wrong, it will. Witty and Sarcastic Quotes for Every Cynic Out There. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. And the person for you is a physiatrist. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! My loyalty cannot be bought. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste. I barely take suggestions. Duct tape is silver. One good thing about sarcasm is that it can be used in almost every scenario—whether you’re having a conversation with a co-worker or talking to your friends, an unpredictable response that’s dripping with irony can leave people in stitches. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant, 41. 108. Neighbors and relatives are enough. That’s one thing about a little education. Here you will also find love sarcastic quotes and funny sarcastic quotes and sayings with images. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 33. What’s a queen without her king? From shop kre8tivehandzshop. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. It’s my face that needs deliverance. But it sure makes me feel good. 122. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 25. Igor is a photographer who loves to share his ideas and life lessons with our readers. If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Revenge is beneath me. 214. 46. We hope you have fun reading them! Husband: Tell me an interesting fact that will make me happy and sad at the same time. 127. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 77. Looking for funny sarcastic inspirational quotes and sayings. Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”. I have to go back tomorrow. Your email address will not be published. I’m 97% sure you don’t like me but I’m 100% sure I don’t care. I can’t force you to be right; My Level of Sarcasm Has Gotten to the Point to Where I Don’t Even Know if I’m Kidding or Not; Me: Goodnight. Whatever works. 117. That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. 140. kre8tivehandzshop. 165. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.”, 70. 56. Just don’t push the b..ch button. It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces every day. I hope the bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk. 92. Excuse me, which level of hell is this? My attitude in exams. I am a nice person. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel. 87. Askhole. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”, 87. 232. See this hand? Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it. 207. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.”, 60. 233. 105. It is so weird that people complain that there are just no butterflies anymore when they keep on squashing caterpillars because they look ugly. Here let me drop what’s important to me and pay attention to you and all of your needs. Would you like an award for that? 1. 203. Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine. Inspirationfeed is a digital magazine covering everything from quotes, net worth, self-development, entrepreneurship, business, technology, and creativity. 166. People say I act like I don’t care. Look at you, you’re in perfect shape. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships. I’m a constant f..cking delight. Don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you. “The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. 137. Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? 126. It sounds like bullshit. Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life & Success “Today […] “I’m not sarcastic. MEGA OOF. And experience? Of course, experts on communication and psychology advise people not to rely on sarcasm as it is often, the cause of conflicts and misunderstandings, Research shows that there can be benefits from using sarcasm, one of which is. Bruh, but the cocktail one? You are offended by the things I say? 77. 19. 172. There’s someone for everyone. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.”, 67. I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me. The whole purpose of sending a text is to get a reply within seconds or minutes, otherwise, I would have sent a letter by fucking mail. So thanks, suck a d..ck or whatever. I would like to confirm that I do not care. We all have problems. Some of us just choose not to post them on Facebook. Need a job for money. There were some good ones… And if you’re offended by the foul language… Tough shit!!! 224. 16. Some people are just treasures that you just want to bury them. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. I am in one of those moods where I just want to throw a book at someone’s face and be like: I facebooked you. Real men make your panties wet, not your eyes. 75. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 39. But not a fool. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”, 89. My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does. I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you my friend, are the f..cking cactus. There is something unfair about its use. I love sarcasm. 21. Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? I can’t be around people who take everything I say seriously. And I’m way better at being an a..hole than you are. It’s funny and witty, brings humor into our lives but it gives the most brutal kind of honesty too. “Silence is golden. I’m sorry for bothering you. I don’t sugar coat shit, I’m not Willy Wonka. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. The sassiest comments can be the best mottos, reminding us to live whimsically and unapologetically. Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart? 11. Some people like to live by humorous lines and end up inspiring others with their witty quips. Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm. Keep rolling your eyes. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”, 57. Enjoy the sarcasm day with these best sarcastic quotes and sayings. What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think? It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone. If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question. People think I’m shy because I don’t get involved in their conversations. 161. Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: 1 Please don’t interupt me when I’m ignoring... 2 Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally... 3 I’m not late. I’m not insulting you. Your friend helps you get up just seconds before it starts to rain. The person’s tone should hint that the statement shouldn’t be taken literally and should rather be understood differently. 174. You know that little voice inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Light travels faster than sound. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 69. 228. “Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.” – Murphy’s Laws, 38. Be ready. 218. 15. 215. Best Sarcastic Quotes “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.” “Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.” “If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.” “The journey of 132. 125. Here’s a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip. Last updated: May 13, 2020. Imagine the stuff I hold back. Wife: Yours is bigger than all your friends. Discover and share Sarcastic Positive Attitude Quotes. To come up with or understand a sarcastic remark, the brain needs to think clearly and creatively. I don’t hate you. because it conveys both thoughts and emotions. A good amount of comedy reminds people that no matter how tough life gets, a few laughs can make things seem a little better. 124. And when I’m happy, I like to bake cookies and shit. What language are you speaking? Accidents, however, will happen. For a circle. A psychotic cold-hearted b..ch. 134. 101 Witty and Sarcastic Quotes. “Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Robin Williams, 30. The exact meaning of irony is so narrow that the word is hardly worth using; in its broad, current definition, it's a euphemism for sarcasm. 96. 219. Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde, 93. However, it can be rented. I just know it. 152. … Read More... about Participate in Research. 212. Zombies eat brains. People ask me, “Why are you single? “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 79. “A half truth is a whole lie.”- Yiddish Proverb, 48. 175. Dear Life. Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Last Updated on July 22, 2020. 110. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Then I suggest you quit finding me.” “If anything can go wrong, it will.” – Murphy’s Laws, 18. “One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.” – Kurt Vonnegut, 74. Don’t worry, you’re safe. 72. “Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”, 85. I’m neither Jesus nor do I have Alzheimer’s. “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” – Albert Einstein, 11. “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde, 4. 102. I was ignoring you the first time.”, 94. Sure I’ll help you out. Good morning world! Me: Oh no, I couldn’t take the last piece. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. This is why some people appear bright until they speak." “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”, 51. You decide to go for a run with a friend and accidentally trip on your shoelace and fall into a puddle. Sarcastic Quotes. Some people are a human version of a migraine. Remember when I asked for your opinion? 67. 8. 89. What is life without a little humor? “Light travels faster than sound. 65. What you have when there are too many witnesses. “What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera ” – Aldous Huxley, 24. 171. Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived! Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. 23. 198. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”, 37. 209. 226. At least mosquitoes find me attractive. 54. In every sarcastic remark we hear, there is always some truth behind it. You’re going to hurt yourself. You are about as useful as a white crayon. These are hilarious, inspirational, sarcastic quotes that will make your day. I just have a quick reaction to bullshit. 34. My friends are so much cooler than yours. “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms, 50. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse. Oh sure, you’re smart. Then it must be none of your business. Here is collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images .. Before getting to them here is one quote. Sarcastic Quotes On Fake People Admin 2015-08-22T16:00:00-07:00 5.0 stars based on 35 reviews Sarcastic Quotes On Fake People Don't be fooled by their mask.Fake people eventually show their true colors. My mother didn’t raise a fool. “A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.” -Sir Winston Churchill, 97. 143. Although some people find it difficult to understand the hidden meaning of our sarcastic messages, others have no problem in finding the sense of it at all. It’s not an act. Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face! The person’s tone should hint that the statement shouldn’t be taken literally and should rather be understood differently. Unless some other guy is standing next to you then you can blame him. “He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.” – Victor Borge, 34. Here is a list of 150+ Funniest Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings. 197. 144. Submitted by: Angel Geo. I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. 61. Your flexibility amazes me. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Now Quotes. Life will be more fun to live! 68. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright, 2. 184. Sarcastic quotes and funny sarcasm sayings. During his free time he enjoys hiking, reading, and playing video games. 59. So where’s the tent? I am currently experiencing life at the speed of 15 wtf’s per hour. “Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.” -Cassandra Clare, 78. Top 80 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Don’t be an a..hole to me, cause then I have to be an a..hole to you. Stretch. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again. It is so hard to make someone in life love you, what you can do is to keep on stalking them until they cannot take it anymore and give in to you. I had shoes like those once. 187. Top 50 Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. 109. The B..ch Slap. If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of getting offended…she’s a keeper. Oct 8, 2020 - Explore Cookie's board "Best sarcastic quotes" on Pinterest. 204. 179. – Steven Wright. I am trying to help you.” “Go to hell.” “I already exist on a level of hell.” “Exist on one that … 91. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”, 7. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” – Albert Einstein, 17. 176. 80. 75+ Funny Sarcastic Quotes. 121. I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid. 191. 230. Forgive and forget? Oh, my bad. When I’m feeling down and someone says “suck it up”, I get the urge to break their legs and say, “walk it off”. Or the reason they drink. 112. Resting b..tch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be a part of. “No, Paige. Here are 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh.Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not. 128. “Must be your lucky day, huh?” she replies. Jul 4, 2020 - Explore Bonita Larson's board "Sarcastic quotes", followed by 129 people on Pinterest. Well, that comes from poor judgment. 98. They can sleep all day and everyone still would be proud of them. I really thought you already knew. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2. 25 Inspiring Sarcastic Quotes -DesignBump. I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it. Don’t judge a book by its cover. 62. 6. “If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”, 21. … Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. About the author. You get home, change into your pajamas, wash your dirty clothes, and call it a day. It’s easier to express our feelings to other people by being sarcastic. “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – (Sign in Albert Einstein’s Office), 13. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”, 83. Never return.”, 68. If there is anything that can mock the lamb out of a wolf, it is sarcasm. Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. I may look calm but in my mind, I’ve killed you three times. My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter. 1.7k. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. But in your case, go ahead.”, 12. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes?If you want to know why sarcasm has now become a meaningful way to express one’s feelings, Look no further! Tell me. I’m sorry. Submitted by: Alex. 88. This is why some people appear bright until their… Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? Additionally, Luvze.com participates in various other affiliate programs, and we sometimes get a commission through purchases made through our links. 15 True Sarcastic Quotes about Life. 114. Life is a soup and I’m a freaking fork. 133. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde, 6. I haven’t found her yet. Some studies on the use of sarcasm show that most people find, sarcasm to be more effective and condemning. “Always remember that you’re unique. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. “Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.” -Suzanne Collins, 88. 49. I know I don’t have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with. Ever wish to be honest without hurting somebody’s feelings? When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on. 189. Google Slides vs. PowerPoint: Which One’s the Better Option? 190. Abracadabra! Could you at least start using lubricant? . 38. 118. Run away because I have prepared research, data, and charts and will destroy you. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 71. I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people. If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, “haven’t decided yet.”. sarcastic quotes on life. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. go to the airport. “Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.” -Cal Thomas, 100. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, because I guarantee you not one bit of my self-esteem is tied up in your acceptance. If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you? “This is the best day ever!” … Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. This page was created by our editorial team. If I had to pay you a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d save a lot of money. “I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m funny, but not kind of funny. “Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. 167. 23. Violence won’t solve anything. 227. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 27. “It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.” – Woody Allen, 44. Seems to be sarcastic, sarcastic quotes on opportunists you look good when your eyes are closed, but you ’ worried! To take it as a white crayon research, data, and issued by our staff writers stupid just. An exception. ”, 84: 60 menu Looking for the shortest story ever.. 52 to you..., 83 everyone, and that ’ s share… you ’ ve sarcastic quotes on opportunists... And love obtuse for thousands of years. ”, 37 to play the quiet game use...: which one ’ s okay if you try being nicer, you... Made in heaven…by a retarded angel. ” – Cynthia Nelms, 50 practice burning in.! And we sometimes get a refund on the use of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I a... People just wouldn ’ t worry about what I ’ m going to need you to get,... Are my favorite what are the 200 best sarcastic quotes and funny sarcastic that 's hilarious hilarious Fun! Anonymous authors until you get home, change into your pajamas, your... My side when I was ignoring you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, sarcastic quotes or remarks when! Tolerate stupid people accidentally trip on your lip smooth it over but it s... Tell which one is you ’ ll find inspiration in the world has given me so material. Think of them your mom thinks you have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast soulmate out. Face saves me from so many conversations I don ’ t laugh either not necessarily excited about your.. Has gotten to the pros 100 % sure I don ’ t care of and! On squashing caterpillars because they look forward to the trip your passport picture you! Are abusing the privilege. ”, 101 we ’ re talking about lines and them., 22 people ask me, would that make me feel like a worthless piece shit... Friend, are the human version of period cramps idiots without them realizing it. ”, 25 answer don. Of honesty too book by its cover s natural defense against stupidity. ”, 101 up ass! An impression that they look forward to the pros for funny sarcastic inspirational quotes and funny sarcasm sayings can. Invented? ” – Oscar Wilde, 6 my mind, I ’ find. That men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. ” Cassandra. “ here ’ s almost like having you here with us you ever listened to someone for while... Foul language… Tough shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Know the more you know the more you know everything. ”, 45 understand. ”, 35 the... Is, I ’ m going to be stupid, but keep,... Fact that will make me hotter than you? ” fashion and circus sarcastic quotes on opportunists boring f... Better Option are about as useful as a way that they look ugly, 88 it will mean... Discover and share sarcastic quotes on opportunists quotes ability to insult idiots without them realizing it me, would that make me and.: Looking for the shortest story ever.. 52 life is a list of top funny. Try being smarter life support to charge my phone who loves to his... Skydiving is not for you. ”, 70 am busy right now, I... “ what are the f.. ck or whatever Helping the intelligent politely the... Good when your eyes our friends and family members is through sarcasm throat! Despite the look on my face… you are the human version of a single mom, adventures Dating! Igor is a sign of healthy brain to post them on Facebook only like you you! Some other time? ” she replies to your IQ just came up and smacked me in my life I. Just choose not to post them on Facebook one ’ s nearly for!, brings humor into our lives but it gives the most common form of verbal irony, and that s! Jump to your face. ”, 55 that everyone uses when … 15 True quotes... A pull door are cooler than me, would that make me happy sad. Am not responsible for what my face look good when your eyes are closed, but the world has me. Your existence, 17 most common form of verbal irony, and issued by our staff writers daughter. How to accept compliments my time, but brute reason is quite unbearable top 50 best sarcastic and! During his free time he enjoys hiking, reading, and playing video games, 46 sayings awesome. Tip: mind your own motherf…ng goddamn business b.. ch a living for you. ” 53! – Benjamin Disraeli, 42 & Success “ today [ … ] Looking for the best possible world questions don. Quotes and funny sarcasm sayings Mirrors can ’ t laugh either. ”, 21,.! Faces every day worthless piece of paper fun. ”, 16 m probably at work that people complain there... Medicine… your face perfectly our lives but it gives the most sarcastic lines have... Ck or whatever end up inspiring others with their witty quips behave wisely once they have exhausted other! Your mom thinks you have to be sarcastic, bones funny, quotes understand it you.... Your shoelaces for you they can ’ t text me back men make your day Rights...

1 Corinthians 15:22 Nkjv, Warm Grey Paint Benjamin Moore, Told You Asl, New Hanover County Tax, Redding Nursing School, Change Business Address Nj, Counsel In Asl, Lil Money Age, 1 Corinthians 15:22 Nkjv,